Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What is a common thought that keeps people up at night? Why do some people experience this?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why are Republicans so brainwashed and oblivious to the fact that a lot of the price increases going on right now is due to corporate greed, not inflation?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Which one is better to guys, boobs or butt?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

N.J. resident traps rabid raccoon, officials say - NJ.com

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Palantir's stock price surges on AI news, gamma squeeze - TheStreet

I actually pay taxes

I can count

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why is crypto crashing today? ‘You have absolutely no idea what you own’ - AMBCrypto

I can read

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do people love to live alone in a house?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why did Mark Lane harass Helen Markham during an illegally recorded telephone conversation to misidentify Lee Harvey Oswald who she witnessed as the shooter of Tippit?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why do untreated borderlines always blame their partners when they actually think they are normal?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: